Starting Over After Giving & Masking So Much

Starting over is one of the hardest things to do when you’ve already invested so much time, money, and energy into a path. I know because I’ve done it. I racked up 6-figure student debt chasing college degrees, believing that success had to look a certain way. The wild part is that I don’t technically work in those areas now. The more I went deeper into those fields, the more I realized I didn’t even want them. The stress was overwhelming, and no matter how many accolades or milestones I reached, it never felt good in my body.

It was during therapy while working on my doctorate that I discovered my neurodivergency. That piece of awareness changed everything for me. Suddenly, it made sense why the “normal” grind never worked for me. The constant push to fit into a system that wasn’t designed with me in mind was draining me on every level. Since I’ve been working on my own terms, the difference in my energy levels and mental health has been undeniable. I wake up lighter, I create freely, and I get to hold space for other people going through their own transformations. That feels real to me. That feels like purpose.

Yet choosing a different path can sometimes feel like a crime to the world. We live in a society where it seems like we were created just to work, pay bills, be stressed, and get stuck in cycles that are hard to escape. I had to remind myself that just because the “system” didn’t work for me doesn’t mean something is wrong with me. It means I had the courage to step away and design a life aligned with who I truly am.

Now, at 37, I can look back and say I’m thankful those past relationships didn’t work out. Back then, I was obsessed with people, ideas, and situations that were tied to my unrecognized neurodivergency. The truth is, those people were never that special. They only felt special because I was trying to make sense of myself through them. Who I am today doesn’t resonate with who I was then, and that’s the beauty of starting over.

Starting over isn’t about losing what you’ve invested. It’s about realizing you’ve outgrown it. It’s about using everything you’ve learned, even in the most stressful and confusing moments, to fuel a different kind of life. And if that life looks different than what the world expects, so be it. I’d rather live outside of the box than shrink myself inside one.

So cheers to starting over and doing it better this time than before. This season is about creating a new definition of safety and stability on my own terms and without distractions.

What about you? Have you ever had to start over after giving years of your time, energy, or money to something that no longer fits you? How did you find the courage to pivot into a new chapter? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.